Danish People

Danes.  What can I say about the people who I am surrounded by, and with whom I interact on a daily basis?

Europe's Canadians

Well, for starters, one Danish man has the strength of two Americans, and at least five Frenchmen.  A Danish person could beat the living daylights out of you.  But that would be uncharacteristically impolite.  

"I would prefer to discuss green energy."

  

 A Dane can put away a six pack, and then ride his bicycle safely home.  At night.  In the rain.

 

 

This is the finance minister.

Also, they all look like this:

The average Danish man and woman.

They have an excellent national health system, punctual public transportation, an eight-hour work day, six weeks of mandatory vacation time, and year-long maternity leave.

Godless commies.

Famous Danes include Hans Christian Andersen, Niels Bohr, Søren Kierkegaard, Tycho Brahe, and Prince Hamlet.  Denmark ranks as one of the happiest, most egalitarian, and least corrupt countries in the world.  National accomplishments include helping to found the European Union, saving 99% of Danish Jews during the Holocaust (making up for the pathetic two hours of military resistance it put up), and of course, defeating Grendel.

Did you know that there are 1.5 million Americans of Danish descent?  A diverse group, Danish Americans are represented by masters of drama...

...and kings of comedy.

That's Soren Bowie of Cracked, you heathens.

Yes, Danish-Americans scrape the skies of beauty...

...and plumb the depths of ugliness.

Kids, this is the bad man who took Napster away.

Overwhelmingly, Danes are extremely friendly and helpful, and nearly all of them speak impeccable English (which is more than can be said for many Americans).  What do Danes think of us Americans?  Here are some tidbits:

 Middle-aged Dane I met while pub-crawling:

"Where are you from?  Oh, God you're f***ing American!"

"There's no passion in your politics.  It's all about the money."

My Danish RA:

 

"Your country has a weight problem."

"We are a little taken aback by your liberal economy." (Americans take note: this is the correct use of the term "liberal")

"You're maybe a little too trigger-happy on the wars."

"Crime here is nothing compared to the states."

Danish woman:

"We hate American men."

Danish man:

"We love American girls."

Professor Christensen:

"How many people are there in Denmark?  What's that?  5 million?  That's 5.4 million to you people!"

 *Denmark is roughly the size of Maryland in terms of both geography and population, with Seattle's climate.

"And the industrial revolution began where?  Anyone?  Oh come on, are you people kidding me?"

So they're a wee bit critical of the good old USA.  But like all Europeans, they can't get enough of our soda, cigarettes, and candy bars.  Some of us may be Americans.  Some of us may be Danes.  And some of us are Iraqis, Croats, and Chinese.  But in the end, we all choose the smooth, robust taste of Coca-Cola.